Quotes av Bill Hicks


Repost fra 2011:

“I loved when Bush came out and said, “We are losing the war against drugs.” You know what that implies? There’s a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

“You never see a positive drug story on the news. They always have the same LSD story. You’ve all seen it:
“Today a young man on acid … thought he could fly … jumped out of a building … what a tragedy!”
What a dick. He’s an idiot. If he thought he could fly, why didn’t he take off from the ground first? Check it out? You don’t see geese lined up to catch elevators to fly south; they fly from the fucking ground.
He’s an idiot. He’s dead. Good! We lost a moron? Fucking celebrate. There’s one less moron in the world.

“… We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out fucking albums. God-dammit! If you’re gonna kill somebody, have some fucking taste. I’ll drive you to Kenny Rogers’ house.”

“I’ve noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country; since about 1980, coincidentally enough. … I was in Nashville, Tennessee, and after the show I went to a Waffle House. I’m not proud of it, but I was hungry. And I’m sitting there eating and reading a book. I don’t know anybody, I’m alone, so I’m reading a book.
The waitress comes over to me like, [gum smacking]What’chu readin’ for?
I had never been asked that. Not “What am I reading?”, but “What am I reading for?”
Goddangit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don’t end up being a fucking waffle waitress.”

“I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?

“People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.”

“”God put [dinosaur fossils] here to test our faith!” … I think God put you here to test my faith, dude.”

“”I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God.”
And I say no, it’s not, Dad.
“Well, I believe that it is.”
Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.

“How many people, when you watched the LA riots on the news, were like me, watching the people getting hauled out of their cars and beaten half to death?
How many people were like me seeing this and thinking “Step on the fucking gas, man. They’re on foot, you’re in a truck … I think I see a way outta this.””

“There’s a new party being born: The People Who Hate People Party.
People who hate people, come together!
“No!”
We’re kind of having trouble getting off the boards, you know. Come to our meeting!
“Are you gonna be there?”
Yeah.
“Then I ain’t fucking coming.”
But you’re our strongest member!
“Fuck you!”
That’s what I’m talking about, you asshole.
“Fuck off!”
Damn, we almost had a meeting going. It’s so hard to get my people together.”

I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately. I’ve been doubting my own existence.”

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. Fact! … I’ll prove it to you.
If you’re at a ball game or a concert and someone’s really violent and aggressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot? 
[The crowd answers “Drunk.”]
 Wow! We all know the truth.”

“I quit smoking. It’s very hard, but I’m glad I did.
I’ll tell you, this war against drugs in the US is the reason I quit because I got too fuckin’ sick of being on the wrong side. The war against drugs, which actually is a war against civil rights, don’t ever be fooled again.
If they cared about us they’d get rid of the number one drug which is cigarettes; kills more people than crack, coke, and heroin combined, times 100. Legal.”

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